

When I was ten years old, I made a discovery that shifted my perspective about the colour of my skin. At the time, I had the ability to distinguish that there were different races. I would see people of different races at school, shopping centres or hospital facilities. It became apparent to me that human beings differed in all forms. However, the aspect of difference that brought confusion to me was being called “black”.
How was I a black girl but have brown skin?
Was it because of my darker skin tone?
I questioned my parents about this because it unsettled me. When they referred to the historical context of the definition of being black, I still could not comprehend it. What my then ten-year old self was told is that the “black” used to describe Africans is political.
It Is Rooted in Classification
Politics or rather the history of colonialism in South Africa, classified me without my consent. Based on the classification, I have had to endure racial inequalities and other intersecting factors of discrimination.
In the process of embracing my skin colour and removing the negative connotations that automatically come with being black, there has always been a wave of “what-ifs” hanging in my thoughts.
What if I was not black? Or what if the classification did not exist? Could life have turned out better?
Well, I may not be the creator to form conclusions, but as an individual I have embraced being black, flaws and all. Not because of classification but by virtue of creation and purpose.
I believe this is what Frantz Fanon’s Black Skin, White Masks is teaching us. As black people our initial experience of exclusion attributes to our perceptions of ourselves. Experiencing exclusion through colonialism and racial discrimination contributed to us questioning our existence. This has contributed to the challenge of finding our place in society and embracing our skin colour without consulting our past.
Fanon beautifully said “the black man who strives to whiten his race is as wretched as the one who preaches hatred of the white man”.
I think what he is describing here is that after questioning your black existence, we sometimes fall into the trap of striving to be white, even when we despise the impact of colonialism.
We desire to be accepted by erasing our existence.
But ultimately, isn’t being human about curiosity? Are we not all curious about race and classification? Yes, but why misplace or erase existence?
What a difficult and informative read.
Book 19 of 2026
A difficult read.
Phiwe Mncwabe is a Communications & Public Engagement Writer, Pan-African storyteller and Founder of Botlhale Hub Afrika. She writes on governance, leadership, public policy and African affairs through research-informed storytelling that encourages thoughtful public dialogue.
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