Book review: His only wife by Peace Adzo Medie

I know it has been a while since I reviewed any books. The South African general elections kept me very occupied, I must say so myself. I believe with the outcome of the general election and the national unity saga. I think it’s time I removed myself from South African politics and watch it play out from a distance. My eyes and ears will always be wide open however, let me give them room to actually put in the work. A reminder to the new connections who follow my book reviews. These are my personal reflections just created to get the community reading more, especially African literature. 

Although I have not been sharing book reviews. I have been reading very captivating and wholesome books. Today, I am happy to share my first fiction book review online. Yes, of course it’s African literature at the center. I love African literature because not only is it relatable and authentic. However, I am of the view that it echoes our sense of belonging as Africans and principles. African literature also gives us a voice and affirms our stories.

Like, I mentioned before that ‘’His only wife’’ is a novel and might I add a wholesome one that sends a very powerful message of self love. The most beautiful part about the novel is that the geographical setting is in Accra, Ghana. Reading the book already had my imagination up and reliving my stay in Accra, Ghana. I could just feel the humidity and bustling city. I am not here to retell the story. I think my purpose is to rather share the lesson I took from reading this book. With the title I think we can all identify that this is a love story or has a marriage involved.

Self-love and choosing yourself is crucial in every aspect of your life. As Africans, we are raised to be selfless. In us being selfless, we tend to lose ourselves in this act and live to please the ones around us. Where we miss it is when we put the needs of others above ours and live to suppress our own feelings. It’s in our nature to do so however, where do we draw the line to say that I am choosing to live for ‘’me’’. I think that is Eli’s biggest downfall in the book. Choosing to keep his family happy at his own expense. I mean could it have been so difficult to teach his family to come to accept his chosen spouse?

Or are we still not ready to talk about how selflessness breeds entitlement in our African families? Eli got accustomed to making people around him happy, his family included that his family used that to their advantage. Eli’s family was given by him a platform to dictate the choice of spouse because of ‘’selflessness’’. Entitlement accompanied by manipulation welcomed deception. I believe that’s how Afi came into the picture. It is because Eli gave his family a platform to dictate what  acceptable is according to ‘’their terms’’.

Afi, on the other hand, was given no choice because of the contribution Eli’s family had on her upbringing. Afi’s mother felt indebted and bullied by Eli’s mother. It is because poverty strips one’s dignity and voice all at once. I believe the mistake that she made was insisting that Afi work on winning Eli. That is where I draw the line as an African woman myself. We need to stop conditioning women to audition to be chosen for marriage. The institution of marriage is an institution involving two people not one. It is not only one individual that needs to work on the institution to function, it is both parties present. Therefore, elderly African women need to refrain from conditioning their daughters to audition for marriage, with the hope of promoting a functioning institution. Marriage takes work from both parties. Women should not be begging to be loved or embraced by their spouses and in-laws. 

As for the African men, maybe it is time we have a conversation about them standing their ground. If it means being dissociated from being reintegrated to your family, teach your family to embrace and accept your spouses. 

We need to be also intentional about teaching our children to love themselves as we teach them how to be selfless.

What a wholesome and insightful read. I highly recommend you buy and read it. Share your review of the book with me?

I am not affiliated to any political party. I am affiliated to the Africans. 

The views that  I share are mine and not affiliated to any employer. These views are not meant to bring harm.

Let’s talk about Africa. Which African country should I visit next? 

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