Book review 18: Nasty Women Talk Back Edited by Joy Watson & Amanda Gouws

Content Warning: This review discusses themes of patriarchy, gender-based violence, sexualisation and harmful cultural norms. Reader discretion is advised.

Feminism has always been part of my identity. The way I was raised and the history that shaped my worldview contributed deeply to that. The belief that women, by virtue of biology were “naturally” second class citizens has always been a thorn in my flesh. Book 18 of 2025 took me right back to my childhood.   

Awareness begins long before we can name it. Even as children, we notice the subtle details that shape our understanding of gender and fairness. 

These are the small yet significant details that hone my feminist thought. 

I vividly remember visiting my childhood friends and watching them make their older brother’s bed. As girl children, they were made responsible for him– simply because he was a boy. Meanwhile he would roam around the house like an “old man” making demands and enjoying privileges. 

Each time I came home, I would tell my village mom how her friend allowed such behaviour. My mother’s response would gently remind me that different homes raise their children with different values– even if those values felt oppressive to me. 

And that was my first real encounter with the birthplace of patriarchy. 

My saving grace was growing with sisters, not brothers.  The closest brothers I have were cousins–and even they didn’t dare start with me. My fierce attitude and sharp mouth (which I’ve since outgrown) shielded me from experiencing the kind of oppression many young girls endured. Today, I don’t rely on sass but I still stand firmly in calling out oppressive behaviour within African communities. 

For centuries, African communities have normalised a narrative that excuses and elevates the boy child–because he is a boy. Women have been told to accept that boys will eventually become “great husbands, great fathers or great partners”. 

But  at whose expense? 

Because today those very “boys”–raised without accountability–contribute to the crisis of gender-based violence and femicide. That so-called “free pass’’ created entitled men who think it is acceptable to objectify, disrespect and violate women–because boys will be boys. 

These harmful norms are the heartbeat of GBVF, rape culture and everyday misogyny. And we must free ourselves from them. 

It starts with canceling the phrase “boys will be boys. 

It starts with refusing to be silent when we are touched inappropriately. 

It starts with us calling out “rapey” remarks, objectification and the sexualisation of women and children. 

We are NOT exaggerating. 

And even if we were–it would only be because we are exhausted from suffering in silence. 

Nasty Women Talk Back is an honest, unfiltered reflection on uncomfortable truths about patriarchy and gendered identities. These personal essays are intimate stories, courageous and a reminder that the personal is always political.  

With the 21st November 2025 approaching this reflection arrives at the right time. 

On Friday, 21 November 2025 South African women will silence the nation. 

We are demanding that gender-based violence and femicide be made a national disaster.   

Book 18 in 2025.

A very powerful and informative read.

Phiwe Mncwabe is a pan-African storyteller, blogger and founder of Botlhale Hub Afrika.

More stories–https://botlhaleafrika.co.za/ 

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I am not affiliated to any political party. I am affiliated to the Africans. 

The views that  I share are mine and not affiliated to any employer. These views are not meant to bring harm.

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