Book review 17: The Polygamist Sue Nyati

This is my 17th book in 2025– and yes it found me. I was not planning to read “The Polygamist” yet,  but sometimes a shift in genres expands your worldview in unexpected ways. As always, I hold an unapologetic personal stance on polygamy–one that could easily spark controversy. But for this review, I will focus on the takeaways that stood out for me. 

The core message? All that glitters is not always gold! 

Our growing consumption of social media is slowly becoming a danger to us. We find ourselves desperately mirroring what online profiles present. Yet, we forget that some of these online profiles are carefully curated marketing strategies used to build audiences and generate income. Social media is an online world. Human beings, however,  live in a real one. 

These two worlds differ drastically:

• One offers lived realities. 
• The  other allows you to create an identity. 

Many people lean more into the identities they build online than into their authentic lived experiences. Why am I using social media as a reference point? Because conversations about polygamy and relationships thrive in these spaces. And with the rise of “polygamy discourse”  online, the digital world has become home for these conversations. 

To be frank: I do not support polygamy. But I am also not against those who choose it. My scrutiny lies in the fact that the lived realities–hard, unpolished truths are rarely portrayed. 

Take Jonasi in the book. He is powerful, respected, charming and resourceful. His influence allows him to win the hearts of many women. And when he does, fulfills the expectations that come with that image–offering security, stability and a future to those who fall for him. 

But the other side of Jonasi’s world is darker: the physical abuse, endless promiscuity and heightened risks of illness because of unfaithfulness. Yes, the lifestyle was lavish. Yes, he provided materially.  But  what good is luxury when your peace is robbed and your health is compromised? Is it worth it? 

The message I want to underscore is simple: there is more to life than what meets the eye. Social media can lure us into believing that perfect lives exist–when they don’t! We must stay cautious about images we consume or we run the risk of falling for curated identities that ultimately harm us.

As for the book’s ending– it is fair.  Joyce receives what rightfully belongs to her.    

Book 17 in 2025.

A very wholesome and informative read.

Phiwe Mncwabe is a pan-African storyteller, blogger and founder of Botlhale Hub Afrika.

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